My Baptism

Recently I had the opportunity to be baptized. After 10 years of being a Christian, fighting many battles over the scriptural basis for baptism I finally hit a spot of submission. God lead me into this decision and disposed of all my reasons against it. So finally it happened. I want to thank each and every person who has played a role in this happening. There are so many people and I can barely thank all of them. So below is a link to a video of my baptism (thanks to Ryan for taping it) and the guy in purple behind me represents all those who have played a role along the way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNS8SZDw-aI

Dear Cardinal Nation ...

Dear Cardinal Nation,
For those who witnessed the mishap that was the 8th inning tonight against the Phillies at home, be glad that you did not witness something much worse. As I sat in my own seat with disappointment painted all over my face I was astounded to hear the shouts of BOOO at our own relief pitchers. I looked up from my mortified head in hands position, thinking I must be wrong, but all I saw was people actually cupping their own hands around their mouths to boo and geer one of the multiple relievers that destroyed the gem of a game that Kyle McClellan started.

I couldn't believe my eyes or ears to see/hear such a disgrace fall upon Cardinal country. I grew up watching and loving this team, even in bad times and I refuse to believe that it has ever been acceptable to treat our own team this way. I will admit that there have been certain players and coaches over the years that I will be critical of, but never would I be negative toward them or the team during a game. We are here to support our team and we have to do that to consider ourselves fans at all.

So to all of you who have booed, shut up or leave. We neither want nor need you in the stands if you are not going turn on the team at any point in time. So don't come. Leave seats open for the true fans. And while we are at it, the obnoxious drunk thing goes against being a true fan too, but I guess I can't help idiocy. So please remember, if you get the thought of putting down our team,  just go ahead and leave because you are useless to the rest of us who actually care about the Cards.

A night of worship

I have noticed throughout the routine and rhythm of life that from time-to-time I am in need of a little change. Sometimes this is simply a change in location and sometimes its completely shaking up my routine. Recently this has been a change in worship. Now I am a firm believer that worship is not just music, but a way of life. I try to make my life more and more worshipful of the graceful and amazing God that has given me life. But in this case I am talking about the music and tonight I got something that completely shook up my routine.

I want to say first of all, thank God for the ministry that is Hillsong United. They come from a great church and they put on a great performance, but a Hillsong concert is much more than that. Once of my friends said afterward how impressed she was with how they continually bring it back to Jesus. Having seen them multiple times I can say that each time that has been different and always heartfelt. I know that they each have a deep faith and that faith informs their profession, and that is part of what makes their concerts a true worship experience. With the words projected on the screen they invite the audience to join them in praising the God of the universe that has brought all of us there on that night. I deeply appreciate this because it's one of the many signs that moves the focus away from them and onto the reason why we are there.

As far as the impact on me, this was one of those nights that just fills my heart with the energy it needs to move forward. In light of the craziness of my life right now, it is incredibly easy for me to get lost in all that is going on. Tonight I was reminded that the reason I am where I am is that I serve an unimaginably great God. He has not called me to busyness, but to Himself. I was reminded that I need to live a life of praise and not just relegate that to a few songs at church each week. I was refreshed (even on a late Tuesday night) and renewed to the real strength and center of life, Jesus Christ. And most of all I was overwhelmed with the amount of my brothers and sisters that gave up a week night to join in this incredible experience focused on our awe striking Father. May God bless you in this coming week and remind you of His presence and call on your life.

From the other side

Today I got to spend some time with a business owner that I respect and asked him generally how work was going. His response began to give me a new perspective and one that I'm not sure many of us (at least I know I haven't) have considered before.

Often I complain about not being able to find a job and the whole job market being tough. What I don't realize is that it is tough for business owners too. I can't speak for the large companies, but this entrepreneur showed me how tough it is for him.

He explained to me how the economy has not really come back in his industry and how they are fighting to maintain clients and get new ones. With everything being so crazy it has forced rates industry wide to drop to the lowest he has seen in over 30 years. This means that he has had to let some people go and had to move offices to help keep costs down. Hearing how hard it was for him to have these conversations with people, some of which have worked for him for upwards of 20 years, made me start to realize how hard our economic times have been on business owners. He owns a medium size company, but they are fighting to weather the recession and come out on the other side. I might complain about not finding a job, but he has the livelihood of dozens of people depended on him and I can't imagine the hard decisions he has had to make in hopes of keeping them employed for years to come.

I hope that as things really do start to turn around that he has the chance to hire these people back and to expand and grow the company to be able to weather these sorts of storms better in the future. There are some corporations (ExxonMobile, WalMart, Coke, etc.) who have taken a hit but are not on the brink of going out of business. But too often I forget the small and medium size businesses that look at the landscape in front of them and wonder if they will still be here in 2012. I pray that the economy turns around soon and allows them to experience some relief and celebrate the fact that they survived with their employees (and hopefully those they've hired back).

Flight travel

As I get ready for an upcoming trip to Denver, CO (one of the most amazing cities in the country and believe me, I've done the leg work) I started to realize how much I love flying. I drive to a ton of places, but I really love flying. I may complain about the wait or about being crammed into a sardine can or about being hearded like cattle on and off that can, but I really do love it. I guess its the fasination of being able to fly like a bird and travel such a long distance in such a short time. Plus it means that I can easily go to great places like Denver. And I really love sleeping through a plane flight, I always feel fresh on the other side. All of this is to say, if you haven't flown anywhere recently, then plan a flight somewhere and enjoy some time relaxing away from home. It is totally worth it.

What are you reading?

A conversation got started today at lunch about reading. Some of the people I work with lamented that they always start books, but never finish them. I did not feel the need the chime in that I only finished 3 books last month and that was a down month for me. I understand I might read more than the average, but I think that is a shame.

Reading is one of the many blessings we get to enjoy in this world. We spend so much time trying to entertain ourselves with TV or things off the Internet, reading has become a lost art. We all learned how to do it and we all do it every day (unless you are an all-star athlete, then schools might just rubber stamp you all the way to the pros :-)). I want to call all of us to vow to pick up AND FINISH a book this month. For those that already do this, do one more than your monthly average. For those who never finish a book, just commit a small portion of every day to read a little bit until all the pages have been turned. It's an amazing sense of accomplishment.

I also want to challenge people to pick up your Bibles. I an unashamedly a Christian and I write towards Christians, so reading the Bible is essential to who I am. I am often reminded of the JI Packer quote - "Any Christian worth his salt ought to read the Bible from cover-to-cover every year." I want to use this as a challenge for my Christian brothers and sisters to pick up your Bible and read it today and every day. This is the best way learn about who God is and how He loves you.

All-in-all I want to encourage everyone who may read this to start reading something of substance in the month of June. The sense of accomplishment is amazing and the growth you will experience is infectious.

Thanks in Memory

I want to take this time to say a brief thank you to all the men and women who have fought and died for our country. They sacrificed so that we could live in the freedom we have in this land. I hope that all of the family and friends that mourned them know that all of us appreciate what they have done for us. None of what we have today would be possible without their willingness to go and stand up for all of us. Your life is treasured and remembered.

Infinitely small

The weather around the mid-West has been reeking havoc the last few days. Most recently a storm ripped through the St. Louis area that was unprecedented in size and intensity. It reminded me of a very important lesson, I am so infinitely small.

For those of you who know me, you know that I am by no means a small person. But as I experienced the storm and watched the coverage (thanks to slingbox and my older brother) it reminded me of the destructive power that exists in the world and how I have such little control over what could happen to me or those I care about. It was humbling to see a dozen simultaneous tornado warnings over the direct viewing area of the local news stations. Even the meteorologists were amazed to see a storm of its size and force. And as I bundled up in the basement with the dog one important thought crossed my mind: as big as this storm is, God has complete and total control over it.

As I took comfort in the fact that the Good God of the universe had this situation in His hands, I started to be filled with the awe of how amazing His love is for us. This God, who could so effortlessly start and stop a storm like that, also cares so much for me that He wants to share in every moment of my life. His love for each of us is so incredibly big that He not only left the throne of Heaven to live among us, He also died so that we could be justified in His eyes. As these days and weeks pile up and life begins to return to normal, please remember that the God who created the universe loves you so much that He asks you daily to share your life with Him as you would a spouse or best friend. And also, please be praying for those effect by the recent weather as they mourn for lost loved one and rebuild their devastated lives.

3:30pm on a Sunday at Panda Express

**In an attempt to stay regular with this blog, I am now going to start posting twice a week. Preferably on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but that may change if the circumstances of my week changes. With that said, here is a little appreciation to lunch, nice weather, and good friends.**

Sunday turned out to be a wonderful day, much better than expected and definitely much better than it looked. With the look of a massive storm coming in (and the unknown fact that it had already passed through Joplin causing the destruction it did there - please remember to be praying for those people who lost their homes and loved one and to get them the resources and help they need now and in the rebuilding process), I sat outside a Panda Express, not wanting to go anywhere.

It's not because of the weather or because of the food, but rather it was because of the conversation. In our world today - so disconnected and interrupted by technology - it was not only refreshing, but also fulfilling to sit and talk with actual people for four hours. And as the cherry on top of the dessert of our conversation, not only did we go deep but God also began to change my perspective on my current situation and for life moving forward.

It amazes me how god took a little group of people wanting to grab lunch after church and turned it into a life changing conversation and drawing us closer in friendship. Too often I miss out on this because I am too consumed with what's next or who just texted me. I want to thank Jonathan and Amy for being part of this amazing afternoon. And an extra special thanks to the Holy Spirit for gathering with us and leading us in conversation that I hope and pray will continue to influence all of us for the many days and weeks to come.

Please keep an eye out on this blog as I will be sharing the full extent of my perspective change I as have more time to process it. Thanks also to all of you who take the time to read my musings.

Catalyst Dallas Review 5 - final reflections

These are my final reflections from Catalyst Dallas. Not to say that I won't bring it up again, but I just won't be focusing on it in posts any time soon.

Catalyst is most definitely an experience. People ask me to describe it and I can use words to tell you what happens, but there are no words to really relay what it is like. And for that purpose alone I will forever promote it among my peers.

This year was especially meaningful to me. I have spent the last few years at home and just trying to get by. Catalyst Dallas reminded me that God has something big planned for me. Though I may not necessarily know what it is nor do I ever wait patiently enough for it, I know He has my back.

A stirring in my spirit has started and I can only hope and pray that it does not go away. I already feel it being beaten back by the troubles of life and the mountains to overcome to get where I believe He is leading me. Yet, I know that all I can do is offer it up to Him everyday and move how He moves me.

I want to extend my thanks to the Catalyst team for an amazing event. You all know how to do it well and God has anointed you for a purpose. I also want to thank the three individuals who went with me. You are a blessing and an answer to prayer. I am excited to walk through life with you in the coming weeks and months. God Bless all of you who have taken to read what I have written. I hope to continue, Lord willing, to add something of value each time I post here. Thank you for your willingness to spend part of your day with me.

Catalyst Dallas Review 4 - Sessions 7-9

(Recently I went to the first ever Catalyst Conference in Dallas. This is the fourth in a series of posts based off reflections from that conference.)

I have finally ran into the problem of posting daily, I am running out of things to say. There is still plenty from the conference itself, but I cannot think of how to start this post. But I guess writing anything is better than writing nothing. So with very little prep and no further ado, here we go into sessions 7-9 of Catalyst Dallas.

Session 7A - Scott Harrison
• If not us, who? If not now, when? – question from an unknown Rabbi
• Lessons learned from starting Charity:Water
• Find your big idea and run with it
• Think big and execute
• Get active and move
• Tell a different story
• Be sold out on your brand
• Change when you realize you need to and be open about your failures
• Get a coach that will push you
• Don’t compromise for money

Session 7B - Rev Run
• Do your best and forget the rest
• The master plan is the Master’s plan
• Focus more time on family than career
• After success, make sure to live out strong and connect with the next generation
• Don’t put too much pressure on yourself
• Psalm 34:4

Session 8 - Matt Chandler
• The Gospel not only saves you, it sustains you
• When God’s calling you it means the Spirit is doing something you will never be able to do
• Prepare yourself to hear God and receive His word, then redirect praise to where it belongs
• Three questions:
• How have you trained your people to fight the flesh?
• Do you teach your people that sin is an external action or a state of the heart?
• Do you teach your people the weight of sin?

Session 9 - Andy Stanley
• Your exploited strengths are worth more than your developed weaknesses
• Create space for leaders around you to fully exploit their strengths
• Only do what only you can do
• Great leaders want to be set free to do what God’s created them to do
• Do less and accomplish more - Acts 6:1-7

By the time we got to the end of Catalyst I was worn out in every way, and I was grateful that these last few sessions focused on the importance of leading well. Unlike the previous sessions (see yesterday’s post) I did not get kicked in the teeth with some spiritual truths. Instead I learned important points for leading.These sessions seemed to ask so much more of how we are leading our people, organizations, and families. As I am still very early in my leadership I hope that I can internalize many of these things and incorporate them as God moves me forward in both ministry and family leadership.

Catalyst Review 3 - Session 4-6

(Recently I went to the first ever Catalyst Conference in Dallas. This is the third in a series of posts based off reflections from that conference.)

I have finally gotten to the place I want to spend my time writing, the local coffeehouse. It is such a cliche to be sitting here with my MacBook writing a blog, but I don’t care. My Brazilian drip makes me feel good and so with trendy music in the background, here we venture into sessions 4-6 of Catalyst Dallas. I hope that I can relay the depth and meaning these sessions had for me. (Again each speaker is hyperlinked to either their webpage or their organizations webpage, check it to find out more)

Session 4 - Donald Miller

• Do hard things happen in our life because God is trying to do something beautiful?
• If anyone had a reason to hold a grudge it was Joseph, but instead he did something different. (Gen. 50:19-21) He forgave and reassured the men who caused such great pain in his life. We must take such an attitude, that those things that cause us harm may be used by God to do something extraordinary.
• We may have blown things so bad that the Church can no longer use us, but God can.
• Sometimes God opens certain doors in our life so we can love people for Him.
• Don’t forget that God’s blessings on us has nothing to do with us and everything to do with Him.

Session 5 - David Platt

• Real courage comes from the God who sustains us
• God doesn’t include me in His mission because He needs me, but rather He loves me and invites me into His greater plan.
• Realities to remember:
• 1 - We have an incomprehensibly great God.
• 2 - We are a sinfully depraved people.
• 3 - We have a scandalously merciful Savior.
• 4 - We have an indescribably urgent mission.
• We don’t have time to play games with our life or with the Church.

Session 6A - Capt. Scotty Smiley

• No matter your situation, God can still use you.
• Independence is not the best decision in life.
• Prayer makes the biggest difference in life.
• If we aren’t putting God first, He will move on with His mission without us.

Session 6B - Craig Groeschel

• To the older generation -
• Don’t be threatened by the younger generation, they need you.
• If you aren’t dead, you aren’t done.
• Be real and authentic, especially when engaging the younger generation.
• Psalm 71:18
• To the younger generation -
• Watch out for entitlement.
• Depression sets in when failure happens because we overestimate what God wants to do in us in the short-run and underestimate what God wants to do in us in the long-run
• Stay teachable, be humble, ask questions, honor those in authority over you, build ministry on what you are, enliven and use your passions.
• Mark 6:4-6 - lack of faith limits what God does with you.

I hope I have done these speakers justice. If you want to know more, please visit Catalyst store and pick up the CD’s or DVD’s. As for me, these sessions kicked me in the teeth a little bit. I have been timid in my leadership and in my faith. Donald Miller and Craig Groeschel helped me deal with some of my pain and bitterness toward the church. They brought me to forgiveness, honoring, and respecting those that are before me, while at the same time humbling me. My pride has spent way too long making me think I am more than I am right now. God may have some amazing things for me, but right now may not be the time to live in those blessings. Right now is the time for preparation for those blessings.

Capt. Smiley and David Platt pushed me to start taking steps of faith, because the God I serve is so awe-strikingly big and cares so deeply for me that I will never truly comprehend it this side of eternity. My prayer is that I can start leading and living with courage. And that is my prayer for all that may read this. May God lead you out in faith to follow His leadership, because He has something huge for you in His plans. It may not be today, but God sees your life in its entirety and not just in your current situations. Trust in Him to work in you toward the fulfillment of His view of you.

Catalyst Dallas Review 2 - Session 1-3

(Recently I went to the first ever Catalyst Conference in Dallas. This is the second in a series of posts based off reflections from that conference.)

On the docket today is the first three sessions of Catalyst Dallas. If the experience of Catalyst was not enough - with all its energy, games, amazing worship, and hilarious antics - these first sessions were filled with content that was truthful and challenging to everyone in the seats. The theme for this conference was Take Courage, so let’s collect our strength and jump into some of my key points. (I have also linked each speaker to their website so you can find out more about them and their organizations)

Session 1 - Andy Stanley:
• A single act of courage is often the tipping point for something extraordinary.
• Step into the strength of the Holy Spirit
• Don’t miss the opportunity to act in courage
• Three areas to take courage:
• Courage to stay, when it would be easier to leave
• Courage to leave, when it would be easier to stay
• Courage to ask for help, when it would be easier to pretend that everything is okay
• The only thing we should fear is waking up and realizing we are not in the center of God’s will for our life

Session 2A - Dr. John Perkins:
• Stop accepting being mediocre
• Unity among the Church has incredible power
• The world is in pain for the Gospel
• Go to our cities and other places that need Jesus

Session 2B - Gary Haugen:
• Our response to fear is either: seek to be safer or seek to be braver
• God is in the business of making His children braver
• If following Jesus is not dangerous, you may not be truly following Jesus
• Am I willing to follow Jesus to the dangerous areas?

Session 3A - Scott Belsky:
• Most ideas never happen. This is largely due to loss of energy and enthusiasm once the project gets started and all the other important things in life/work begin to demand attention. To counter this:
• Create pockets of time in your day where you can unplug
• Be intentional about organization
• Minimize the things that don’t move the idea forward
• Never stop optimizing - getting better
• Release the idea to people, but only the right people at the right time
• Tolerate failure as a lesson
• Gain confidence from doubt
• “Nothing extraordinary is ever achieved through ordinary means.”

Session 3B - Christine Caine:
• God created us to take risks, to live counter to that is to resist part of our purpose
• The issues of this life are like a vapor. For those of us in Christ’s house, we must live with an eternal perspective. With that perspective risk becomes less risky, but more freeing.
• Am I the Samaritan or am I the Levite or Priest?

These sessions were really challenging to me. They pushed to get out of the rut I have dug in life. Not to say that it is a bad rut – there are many good things in this rut – but it is not the full extent of what God has planned for me. I need to ask for help, begin actual work on some of my ideas, and move into the uncomfortable areas to start loving on the people God wants me love on.

The Gospel is not just about my salvation, it’s about the world’s salvation. We all need to remember that God has called us to GO and share His truth. That means both far and near. Go to your neighbor. Go to your co-worker or boss. Go to your family. So let us all courageously take some risks in our life and step onto the faith that was planted in our hearts on the day of our salvation. GO!!

Catalyst Dallas Review 1 - Conference Fatigue

(Recently I went to the first ever Catalyst Conference in Dallas. This is the first in a series of posts based off reflections from that conference.)

As I have been back for almost two full days now, some unintended things have begun to happen in me and it has nothing to do with what I learned at the conference. This is what I will refer to, and what I’ve heard others call, as conference fatigue. This is not due to travel or the rapid pace of the event (though both were frenetic), but is entirely based off the experience and the people with whom I shared it.

Conference fatigue has two parts to it. First is the loss of the closeness of the relationships you have while spending so much time with the others you have gone to the conference with. This is lessened if you do not have to travel to the event, but conversely it can be worsened by the distance you have to travel. Second is coming down from the emotional and spiritual high of the event itself.

It begins to set in as soon as its all over and I believe this plays a role in not implementing many of the action points learned at the event. For me, this is when I actually got home. As I began unloading my bags from the car there was a growing sense of loss. I was already missing the people I had just spent so much time with. But there was also the revelation that I had all these thoughts and experiences replaying themselves in my head and that the only people who could really understand them were not readably available to talk them out like they were just a few short minutes ago. Though we are still friends and communication with them is easy, the bond of the car, hotel, and conference has been broken. And as much as I might miss that bond, it is a good thing because life is not lived at conferences. And I believe our relationships will only improve based off this shared experience. Now that I am actually home though, I need to do the hard work of implementing what I’ve learned and I need to remember that I can use these people as resources to help me remember and process.

The second part of conference fatigue, for me, can be a little bit easier to deal with. I learned many years ago that the mountain top experience of a conference has to come to an end. Matt. 17:1-13 shows us a mountaintop experience for both Jesus and a few of His disciples. It is immediately followed by Jesus returning to ministry and leading those disciples to do the same. Life cannot be lived on the mountain top, it must be lived in the valley and I am beginning to learn to love being in the valley more than the mountain top. (Though I admit to needing the mountain top at times)

With all this said, I loved the few days I got to spend in Dallas, and I am grateful for the people God brought along with me. I am excited to see what He does in both my life and theirs based off this conference. God awoke something inside me that I’ve kept dormant for too long. To write it all out here would be longer than I could possibly keep coherent, but I do plan to share it with others (and sometimes this blog) in the coming days and weeks. I must keep this passion always present before my eyes or I will lose it again.

I also have come up with some ideas on how to deal with conference fatigue. First, allow yourself to sit in it for a bit. There is a bit of a loss there - loss of the experience, the bond, and much needed sleep - so allow yourself the opportunity to mourn for that loss. Second, don’t allow the loss to over take you. This means getting up and doing stuff. (I am extremely thankful and appreciative to Alex, Garet, and Steve for including me on one of the best afternoons in bad weather that I can ever remember. Those few hours we spent on the golf course got me moving, distracted my mind, made me laugh till I cried and reminded me of the blessing God has given me in everyday life – of which you three are highly ranked.) Third, spend time with people who were there with you. Planned or unplanned, it is important to reconnect (often in the early stages of conference fatigue) with those that shared that experience with you. Don’t force it, but allow for chances to just be in each others presence while you are readjusting from the mountain top. Fourth, plan a review process. For me it is writing this blog. I am making myself review parts of the conference each day this week and write about them. In order to remember all the amazing things learned, find a way to incorporate a long review into the days that follow the conference. And don’t just do it alone, bring others into the process with you.

I hope this is helpful to some (or at least a break for a few minutes at work), I know it has been very good for me. Please check back as I will be reviewing more of Catalyst in the coming days. And keep ever present the truth and reality of Jesus Christ in your life and the world around you. God Bless.