Parting is such sweet sorrow

As I logged into blog today I realized something, this is the last time I will be doing that from this computer, tomorrow is my last day as a Catalyst intern.

This whole last week has gotten me thinking about when things end. Somethings end abruptly and something are quite planned. An extra innings baseball game can come to an end with the swing of a bat, while sitting in a class at school ends at the pre-determined time. But no matter what type of end it is, the really meaningful things in life always end bittersweet.

I know the direction I am ment to head in next. I believe I know how I was made and what that means for the future, yet leaving Catalyst is bitter. I love these people and this place, but it is not my future (at least not my immediate future). Throughout this week I have started to think how hard it is going to be for me next week as I get up and have nowhere to go in the mornings. I am trying to plan things to do to keep my mind off the fact that I am no longer at the place that I have grown so attached to over the last several months. And I am not going to even mention anything about what exactly is next, because frankly I just don't know.

I guess what I really want to know is how people deal with things ending. I am rushing off to some other commitments right away, but about Wed. of next week it will hit me hard and I will slip into a brief morning for the life that I no longer have. No more than a few days. Is that healthy? I'm not sure what other possibilities are out there. I know that by the last week of Oct. I'll have picked up and moved on (literally and figuratively), but part of my heart will always be with those people and that place.

A few brief Catalyst reflections

Now that my Catalyst hangover has begun to wear off I have started to reflect a little bit on what happened last Thursday and Friday at the Gwinnett Arena in Duluth, GA. I did not get to see everything because I was working during the midst of the conference, but what I did see was absolutely amazing. So here are a few brief things from those two days of God's movement;

• Francis Chan is amazing. All he did was talk about Jesus and the Resurrection and I cried. God used that time to mend some brokenness in my own heart from the previous week or so.
• All the music was quality. When you go to North Point and here Steve Fee and Eddie Kirkland and then have Aaron Keyes lead worship at your office, it can be easy to forget the amazingly gifted God has made them. I am very appreciative of their time and talent.
• The widowed and orphaned really are on my heart. A few years ago I'm not sure this was true, but Christ has changed me to be closer to His purposes. It hit home this year as Catalyst had focused on the orphaned and dispossessed children of the world and my heart began to cry out for those things.
• People leave the craziest stuff behind. Since I'm a Catalyst intern I have been tasked with tracking some of this stuff (at least for the next week). Besides Bibles, journals and note books, I found: reading glasses, clothing, makeup kits, and keys. I mean honestly who leaves their keys!?!
• God really has a hand of blessing on this movement. Seeing all the things that could have gone wrong. Seeing all the things that had to align just right for the Catalyst experience to be what it was, I am certain of two things. 1-satan is trying to ruin what is happening here and 2- God IS protecting this for His greater purpose. I know no other way to say it, but God is doing something through Catalyst right now, and I want to thank Him for that because it is wonderful.

I will probably being doing more Catalyst reflections in the coming weeks as I re-listen to talks and gain very specific content from the amazing speakers. But I hope for now this shows a little bit of my own experience of this incredible week.

Update as of now

Ok, so next week is the Catalyst conference. I am an intern at Catalyst right now and things have been absolutely crazy. As I sit here right now I have some of the first free moments I've had all week. But there a couple sweet things happening with all that this week and next.

First, we are completely sold out. No more tickets available. We have hit the absolute ceiling of seats available and then some. (the vendors don't need seats, but they have to have tickets to get passes into the arena) This is absolutely amazing and things around the office have been full of celebration and astonishment as we start realize how many people that actually is.

Second, as an intern, and the only intern 25 or older, I have been tasked with a lot of random stuff this week. Things that needed to get done for the event to happen, but were not the top priority for some of the other people here. So I've spent a lot of time in vehicles recently, both my own and rentals, as I drive errands, load trucks, and pretty much do anything not at my desk or even at our offices. This is good and bad. Good because being at a desk all day can tire me out. Bad because I miss a lot by not being at my desk. Luckily I have some great co-workers who have picked up a bit of the slack by me being gone.

Third, I am super excited and a little terrified about next week. We'll have nearly 13,000 people we will be hosting next week and I am a part of the crew that leads all of that. No sleep. Lots of coffee. Tons of lifting/moving (literally). Physical and mental exhaustion. I'm ready for it, but I'm nervous about it too.

And in the middle of all this I'm still looking for what God has next for me. I pray I know sooner rather than later. But for right now, I go back to work to finish my day and then go sleep.